The first step to communication is connection. The depth of connection determines the quality of communication. Effective and compassionate connection comes from our degree of awareness. Only when we connect mindfully, do we observe where and what is the gap. We then can focus on how to achieve it efficiently and effectively resulting in compassionate communication.
Most times we are on an auto mode and quick to react. So our connection tends to be shallow and unconscious. In this state when we find something improper, it results in a reactive communication fuelled by a series of underlying unprocessed emotions. These emotions could be related to what we are communicating or something completely unrelated or a combination of both. Most times we are unaware of our feelings, needs and unclear as to what we truly want.
The first step to deeper connection and compassionate communication is to learn to listen actively. Active Listening requires our awareness, openness and full presence with the person or situation we are in. That is when we become an observer. We then observe not only what the other person is trying to tell us but also connect with the underlying frustrations of that person and ours. We witness our own reactions and feelings to the situation. We then place our self in an empowered state to choose to respond in finding effective solutions and not merely getting triggered with reaction.